I feel the need....the need to lead

The church is not to be like a bus, where passengers sit quietly and let someone else do the driving, but like an anthill, where everybody is at work. Not everyone who thus ministers will be a church officer, nor will the service they render always be appreciated. But just as every bit of that fabulous complex, the human body, has a job to do, so it is with each of us who believe.

Why is this such a hard lesson to learn? It really seems like it would fall into the 'no-duh' portion of life and yet daily I need to be reminded of it.

Somewhere along the way in my life I developed this need to be in charge, to be in control. OK, that's probably not the truth...I've always had the desire to be in control and be in charge, it's not a recent development, but it is a recent realization. Maybe it comes from being first-born. Maybe it comes from being encouraged to do my best and be the best...and isn't 'the best' the top of the totem pole? The leader of the pack? The head of the line? The ruler of the roost?

It's how society defines it. It's what society says we should be striving for. Why be the indian if you could be the chief? The perks are so much better as the chief. As chief you get to call the shots, tell others how things should be done, be your own boss. Being chief is a control freaks wildest dream come true.

But being the chief isn't what everyone's called to do. Sometimes we are called to be the indian. Sometimes not even the indian. Like it or not, sometimes we are called to be the nobodys. We are called to do our job quietly behind the scenes with little to absolutely no recognition. We are called to do our job for the purpose of getting our job done. We may even be called to our job so that someone else can do their job and get the credit and recognition for the whole kit and caboodle. Is that fair?

Seems like if you work hard you should be recognized for what you have done. That would be fair, but that's not reality. That's not how life works. It's not how God intended things to go. Sometimes we never see the rewards for the work we've done this side of Heaven. But it doesn't mean that we shouldn't do what we are called to do.

So what does that mean for me and my need to lead? I am seeking to determine the reason that I lead. Do I need to lead because it makes me feel needed or do I need to lead because I am needed to lead? I don't think it'll be the same in every situation and I know that I should never lead if I the reason I am leading is because it makes me feel needed.

Sometimes I am called to simply be the worker ant. No glory, no recognition, no fame, no reward. I am called to do my job, for no other reason then it needs to be done.