I just want to close my eyes, and I don't care if I miss a thing!

I can't think of a time in my life when I have been this emotionally exhausted. In fact, I am so emotionally exhausted that I can't physically function. Ok, well I guess technically I am physically functioning, but definitely not at 100%. I am just dragging.

It's strange to me because I have gone through stressful periods in my life where I was mentally exhausted. Times where I spent countless hours trying to think of solutions to life's greatest mysteries...or at least my life's greatest mysteries. This always left me mentally discombobulated; unable to maintain a clear thought or form a comprehensible sentence, but I don't remember it making me so physically run-down.

Of course this also comes at a time just before I have to go in for a medical procedure so I had to stop taking my multi-vitamin and the vitamin B complex that I normally take. Who knew that that had such an impact? Gives meaning to 'you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone.'

I'm wishing for a nap. A middle of the day, curl up under the covers, everything is still and quiet, nap. Of course being at work...I just don't think that that is happening. Wishing or not.

On an entirely different topic, I have to go to the library this evening after I get off of work to look for a book that I just returned on Saturday. I didn't even think to check if the crochet hat pattern that I used to make the last hat was in one of the books from the library. I am hoping that no one has checked them out. I was supposed to have these two hats done by this Saturday. I thought I'd use the time before my procedure on Friday morning to work on them. I don't think that the hats are really going to take more then 1/2 hour each. And of course I have the poncho to finish. That'll probably take me another 2 hours at least. I need to work on it at night...but by the time I get home I am even more exhausted then I am in the morning. I find myself falling asleep in the middle of watching my programs.

I never thought I'd hear myself utter...'Thank God for DVR. What did I do before we had it?'

They're mowing the grass outside the office window. It makes me laugh that they mow it with a ride-on mower. I always think...it's really not that much grass. Of course I know that this small patch of grass outside the office isn't the only grass that they have to cut, but still...how far we've come from push mowers. That's too funny. I say that like I own a push mower and it's all I would ever think of using...heck I don't have a patch of grass anywhere near my apartment...no mowing, push or otherwise...for me.

Speaking of apartments. I found these really cute townhouses that I want to look at. They are almost $300 more a month then what we pay now and I don't know if water/trash/sewer is covered in the rent, but the have three bedrooms and two baths, which is one more bedroom and one more bath then we have now. I've always said I wouldn't pay more then what we pay now unless there was another bedroom involved. The biggest draw to these townhouses is the split floor plan...they have a basement! Two of the bedrooms and one of the baths are down in the basement. I'd love to see them. I'd love to be in a position to rent one and possibly even own one. But I'm definitely not in that position.

There is no way I can justify moving and paying more for rent or even a mortgage payment when both of our jobs are barely hanging in there. We both work less then 40 hours and while we make it...that's all we do is 'make it'. There isn't any extra for a higher payment or additional payments...just enough to meet our needs and our current luxuries. And even some of those current luxuries will have to go away here before too long. But that is life. We could choose to look for new jobs, but it doesn't seem like the best move for either of us right now. We're better off trying to stick it out where we are at. Besides, we both like where we are at. And for what it is worth, we both hate (fear) change.

Until next time.